EVERYTHING IS FUNNIER WITH VOMIT
(Source: thevirginprince)
I think every joke is funnier if it’s punctuated by vomit.
(Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours)
Syri: Holy fucking tits, it is balls-out freezing.
Me: Are you going to try to make that phrase a thing?
Syri: It’s a thing.
Me: What does ‘balls-out’ freezing even me-
Syri: It means it’s cold.
That’s exactly what it means.
We're watching Mad Max
- Court: What's happening?
- Me: I think we're meant to be focusing on what's not happening.
- Court: Well plot's not happening.
- Me: Therefore plot IS happening.
- Court: Lack of plot is a kind of plot... Did you even go to college?
My tutor told us this Charlie Chaplin philosophy:
Comedy isn’t a man slips on a banana. Comedy is a man steps over the banana. Then falls into a manhole.
Then I turned it into a compliment for successful jokes.
for lily
(Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours)
Gareth: He’s put my stapler inside a jelly again. That’s the third time he’s done that. It wasn’t even funny the first time.
David: Why’s he done that?
Gareth: I told him once that I don’t like jelly. I don’t trust the way it moves.
(Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours)
No.
(Source: pushthemovement)
(Source: jaredbottoms)
