June 2012
60 posts
I can't eat food
margarethnatalie:
And stare at my imaginary celebrity crushes because they feel more unreachable than when I don’t eat in front of their pictures… Yeah, I don’t know how and why I am fucking crazy either.
I am the opposite. Just looking through this flawless human being’s tag and all I know is I had hummus half an hour ago… Now it is all gone.
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Blergh, apparently my teeth grinding is getting worse. When I was back home I fell asleep on the couch and Jake woke me up because he could hear me biting and gnashing from the other end of the room. I know I still clench my teeth when I’m awake, but last night I bit down so hard I woke myself up. To the dentist I go ;-;
I remember the first time I realised I could never coexist peacefully with Alannah. I mentioned Bill Murray in a conversation and she said, “Who’s Billy Murray?”
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RIP The Hot Sheriff from Once Upon A Time, your character may be dead but thankfully the actor who plays you is not. I’m sorry I never bothered to learn your name, but I have your entire wardrobe memorised so hopefully that means something.
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My sister on the nineties
margarethnatalie:
not-stella:
margarethnatalie:
Her: “They had sleveless turtlenecks… (Breathes heavily). Like… No.”
TO DENY THE SLEEVELESS TURTLENECK IS TO DENY YOURSELF.
I love you.
I’M NOT ENGAGED, I’M NOT ENGAGED. WIFEYS.
margarethnatalie asked: Did you just throw that on or were you wearing it already?
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My sister on the nineties
margarethnatalie:
Her: “They had sleveless turtlenecks… (Breathes heavily). Like… No.”
TO DENY THE SLEEVELESS TURTLENECK IS TO DENY YOURSELF.
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I’m back in Melbourne and Alannah’s going away for a week. This is going to be a solid party of one, I’m talking all of the k-pop all of the time. All of the Community, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, Project Runway, ALL OF THE MOVIES ALL OF THE TIME. All of the mani pedis all of the time, all of the cereal at times that aren’t breakfast. All of the cleaning at strange hours...
I shouldn’t be allowed a mobile phone. If I was a character on a television show my catchphrase would be “where’s my phone.” No question mark needed because there’s no use asking a question when nobody knows the answer.
Jake: Do you wanna take Zed for a walk with me? Me: I feel kinda sick, I might vom. literally a fifteen second pause Jake: …you need thongs?
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I just had an outside of myself moment. I was holding cider and the leash of a fully grown Akita in one hand, a soy hot dog in the other whilst saying ‘Baby Noah is a babyyyy’ to my brother. My only thought: who the fuck do I think I am.
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Jake: Hey Nomes, have you seen this? Me: What? Jake: This. Me:
We're talking about Moulin Rouge
Jake: I don’t understand how people don’t love this movie more. Me: I know, it’s great. Jake: It’s just, IT’S SO CLEVER. Me: It’s pretty. Jake: BUT LIKE. IT’S A STORY. ABOUT A MAN TELLING A STORY. ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE MAKING A STORY. Jake: Jake: INCEPTIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN and then he just ran away, this child.
okay in those last tags i had a dig at nephrite’s voice for being gravelly but i will cut the guy some slack since he was being impaled
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Aww mum’s actually really upset. Baby Abed making people feel things. Awww Shirley went and got the menorah for Annieeeee, I never noticed that before.
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I don’t even like Britta, but the second saddest part of Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas is when Abed ejects her from Winter Wonderland. Breaking my heart.
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Jake: Come look at this thing Disney’s doing. Me: Later. Jake: It’s stop moooooottttiiiioooonnnnnn~ Me: I can almost guarantee that it’s not. Jake: …That usually works.
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TRYING TO LOG OFF THE INTERNET TO START STUDYING
youmightbeanengineeringstudentif:
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Health care ad comes on
Lee: That’s what you need Nomes.
Me: What, health care?
Lee: No, the lady in the ad had a spinning shoe rack.
Do you think they can hear the reactions people have while hold music is playing? They probably can. Tempted to scream down the phone at this point. The music has now reached twisted Victorian doll jewelry box territory.
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Hold lady: Did you know one ebay item is purchased every two seconds via our ebay mobile app- Me: FUCKING YES, YES I DID. Me:
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Hold lady: All of our representatives are currently assisting other members, please remain on the line- Me: PLEASE REMAIN ON MY DICK. Me:
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WatchI recorded the phone again while I had the other recording I made playing. This is where my brain is at now. This will hurt your speakers, your ears, your mind and your soul. One day someone will stumble across this on the internet and label it ‘important’… Today is not that day.
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WatchI have no idea what this piece of music is called but I want it dead. This is the sound of insanity brewing.
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I developed a slight tan today and couldn’t remember what I do with my make up when I tan… Then I realised I haven’t had a tan since I started wearing make up which was at least five years ago, cool.
[[MORE]]People need to stop telling me stop motion animation is annoying and start acknowledging how magical it is. It’s either that or I never share anything about how much I love animation again so it doesn’t feel like tiny pieces of my soul are being torn apart every time someone dismisses it.
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Lee: she calls Jake Zed and Zed Jake
Me: just get another puppy and call him Jed
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me: do you watch ‘snog, marry, avoid’ mum? mum: sometimes, it scares me. stepdad: the title is misleading to me. stepdad: i thought they actually snogged, married and then avoided each other. stepdad: and i thought WHAT A FANATASTIC IDEA FOR A SHOW. stepdad: but then i was most disappointed.
[[MORE]]
Dear whoever, Thanks for handing in my bag and wallet, shame you couldn’t have given back my phone and the money inside. I’d also like to thank you for the ebay bidding spree. Cheers for that, I’m surprised you needed deep throat numbing spray because you managed to fuck me over okay without it.
Fuck you, Naomi.
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My family only buys malted milo
original or gtfo
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Jake: Mum’s been invited to a medieval birthday party. Me: Ahuh… Jake: Guess what she wants to go as? Me: What? Jake: The Round Table
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After watching this
Mum: And he’s won an Oscar? Me: He’s my favourite. MuM: And what’s this show called? Me: Community. Mum: And you- Me: I bought season one and two with me, don’t worry we have two weeks. Mum: Thanks honey.
Sidenote for Courtney: Mum lost her shit when he threw his handkerchief on the ground. There were tears.
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Cannot take this chick anymore. She spilled water on her chocolate, so she shouted at her mum. I would give more details that would make that sentence even more ludicrous, but I don’t think I really need to.
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I always forget how long Princess Mononoke runs for, and I always forget that I cry for pretty much the entire freaking thing.
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Cannot stand it when people make a show out of being sick when it’s just the common cold or something. Seriously, just announce it, “I’m sick as hell, going to bed, emerging in three days.” If you’re feeling that freaking sick that you need to complain about it constantly then cart your ass to a doctor. Don’t make a big deal about the effort it requires for you...
I just wrote more on that fucking pillow/doormat in the last five minutes than I have on my assignment in the last half hour.
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